WHISKY'S RISKY but it gets you FRISKY

(Scotty Doggerel)

 

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the sober man ignores the thistle

decides instead to wet his whistle

 

heads straight for the nearest bar

& soon he's roaring slàinte mhath*

 

keep English Ale or Irish Porter

make mine Scottish Fire Water

 

it's proof against the Highland weather

loosens lips so you can blether

 

you'll become a champion talker

after a dram of Johnnie Walker

 

through your alcoholic haze

gaze on bonny tartan braes

 

watch the haggis roamin' free

plucky beasties though they're only wee

 

see Venice and die but just feel peaky

when you set eyes on gude Auld Reekie

 

toast this Athens of the North

drink like a fish in the Firth of Forth

 

there's pickled herring and black bun

made in Scotland by the ton

 

piper's pibroch fiddler's reel

men in kilts with sex appeal

 

there's loch and burn and ben and glen

heather and broom I ken I ken

 

all these are braw but one thing's siccar

best of aw's that golden liquor

 

a single malt a single malt

gives you a jolt like a thunderbolt

 

(*Gaelic for 'Good Health')

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If your sound is turned on, you'll eventually hear 'The Cock O'The North', a fine jig for a Ceilidh

[NB Embedded sound requires Internet Explorer]