WHISKY'S RISKY but it gets you FRISKY

(Scotty Doggerel)

the sober man ignores the thistle

decides instead to wet his whistle

heads straight for the nearest bar

& soon he's roaring slàinte mhath*

keep English Ale or Irish Porter

make mine Scottish Fire Water

it's proof against the Highland weather

loosens lips so you can blether

you'll become a champion talker

after a dram of Johnnie Walker

through your alcoholic haze

gaze on bonny tartan braes

watch the haggis roamin' free

plucky beasties though they're only wee

see Venice and die but just feel peaky

when you set eyes on gude Auld Reekie

toast this Athens of the North

drink like a fish in the Firth of Forth

there's pickled herring and black bun

made in Scotland by the ton

piper's pibroch fiddler's reel

men in kilts with sex appeal

there's loch and burn and ben and glen

heather and broom I ken I ken

all these are braw but one thing's siccar

best of aw's that golden liquor

a single malt a single malt

gives you a jolt like a thunderbolt

(*Gaelic for 'Good Health')