Dateline: Edinburgh 1986
WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE SUMMER HOLS?
(Our Raving Reporter looks back over a short wet one)
What a summer it's been! Funny intervals & scattered flowers.
Come, Brutal Reader, take my clammy hand & stroll with me down that leafy lane still green in memory...
Remember June? Jolly it wasn't. Under the extinct volcano (Arthur's Seat in case you wonder), I sat disconsolate & drowned my sorrows in a bottle of imported Mescal. A potent potion. Appropriate I thought as news from the Aztec Stadium was bad. Got quite maudlin lamenting Scotland's dashed hopes of World Cup glory. Not that I'm a football fanatic or even particularly patriotic. But any excuse to drink too much.
So, Argentinians got their own backs (full backs, half backs - excuse the half-baked puns.) Britain may have been able to flaunt its military might in the Falklands/ Malvinas (there's a lot in a name), but in unarmed combat on the football field Argentina proved supreme. (Why can't all international conflict be settled sportingly?) Revenge must be sweet. Me, I prefer dry.
There's one thing I'm confused about. I thought Maradonna was a female singer. Perhaps he should be. If fatuous songs by lesser football teams can get in the charts, Diego & amigos could surely reach numero uno. How about 'Speedy Gonzales'? Anyway, all that, like the Aztecs, is ancient history.