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now Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

is detained in Greenland Zoo

this card must go by Royal Mail

do hope it reaches you


I'd send some joyful tidings

gift-wrapped with festive verse

but everyday the news seems bad

& it's getting worse


in the bleak mid-winter

of our discontent

there's little cause for revelry

or merriment


Christmas is coming

the force-fed goose gets fat

(geese & vegetarians

object to that)


even ol' Santa

ain't the same anymore

when you've seen thru his disguise

at the department store


the ghost of Christmas-Yet-to-Come

looks ugly grim & mean

unless the scourging Scrooge in Man

decides to change the scene


Saviour Baby Jesus

in a tableau Virgin Birth

can hardly help us save ourselves

let alone the bloody Earth


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the year is nearly ended

as alas is this

the new one could be one last chance

we can't afford to miss


so take a sprig of imitation holly

spray on artificial snow

'tis the season to be jolly

under the plastic

under the plastic

under the plastic mistletoe



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hoh hoh hoh!

Xmas Mix

real beard?

Silent Night?

Letter to Santa

White Xmas?




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