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at Babraham

(or any other





Let’s conjure up a killer germ

then try to find the antidote

guinea-pigs deserve to squirm


we’ll take the udders from a goat

and transplant them to its throat


excuse me while I go and gloat


there’s nothing like an experiment

to rouse a bit of merriment


especially when you’re getting close

to establishing the lethal dose


there’s no room for namby-pamby

cute-as-Bambi sentiment

at Babraham


animals are ours to use

but we don’t let the bleeders choose

we need to test these new cosmetics

why waste good money on anaesthetics


of course we try to be humane

our torture causes little pain

well-placed electrodes in the brain

can stimulate a sense of pleasure

brute suffering is hard to measure

against the data we can gain









so leave all pity at the door

and never ever ask what for

if those brilliant mistaken men

cross a camel with a hen

someone thought it was a good idea

anything goes when you’re working here

(like mouse



human ear?)


countless victims die in fear

on bio-technology’s wild frontier

talk of research is just a sham

for sadists pulping flesh to jam



slaughtering sacrificial lamb

with a toxic milligram

O let’s irradiate a clam

et cetera ad nauseam


comparing them with Frankenstein

you’d think the latter was benign


they act more cruel than Abraham

the kind of man who’d kill his son

and not regret what he had done



the things they do behind closed doors

at Babraham

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Dumb Animals



A - Z

Recorded live on Calton Hill, Edinburgh, 28th August 1983.

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