The MEPHISTO TRADING Co.
HAS A PROPOSITION
THAT MAY INTEREST YOU...
tired of the same old holy holies
what you need is some excitement
if your life seems dull & boring
we've plenty that could pep it up
write away without delay
we will send you free-of-charge
an endless catalogue of horrors
we stock all you've never wanted
every kind of occult commodity
atrocities of every sort
you thought disease & war
were bad enough
well you ain't seen nothing yet
the seven Deadly Sins were pretty awful
our expanded range is far more full
we sell immoralities you've never heard of
our goods are X-certificate
for easy reference
B's for Bestiality
Bargain Bugbears
Blasphemy & god-knows-what besides
including BOOZE
(the Primrose Path is such a laugh
& all our spirits duty-free)
but where was I
let me see
C
C you'll have to see to disbelieve
there's....(wait for it)
Catastrophes Calamities Cruelty & Carnage
Carnal Conjurations Covens Curses
Cut-price Cleavers for your kitchen
every shade of masochist & sadist catered for
C-D-E-F-G
I'll skip the rest but as you see
the list could well go to your head
by the time you get to XYZ
we know you'll end up satisfied
when you begin to browse inside
our games make ideal Xmas gifts
keep the kiddies occupied
Young Scientist's Vivisection Kit
complete with full instructions
& practical suggestions
like how to kill the family cat
or disembowel an owl
it's hoots of laughter
why not shock your nearest & dearest
each box of Pandora Playthings
contains a set of beautiful electrodes
& comes with simple-to-follow wiring diagram
suitable for any age group
every home should have some Homicide
there's nothing like a bit of violence
if you want to break the silence
listen to them scream & scream
it makes sense to get enjoyment
at your enemy's expense
suffering is the in-thing
outrages against Nature
nowadays are all the rage
toil & trouble is so trendy
you too can be up-to-date
switch to super-cool HATE
& for a bigger better fright
to turn the blackest hair quite white
try some special gift-wrapped EVIL
there's fun to be had by being bad
we've tricks & treats to make flesh creep
& all of them so very cheap
our nightmares break the soundest sleep
wake up to some blood & thunder
ghouls & ghosties are the mostest
long-legged beasties can make perfect pets
add some drama to your sex-life
with things that jump you in the night
for a good time get a succuba
our randy vampires love to love-bite
can you resist such tempting offers
our prices aren't extortionate
you can still stay penny-wise
& buy some ready-packaged lies
little & white or giant-size
they're truly economical
when it comes to fleurs du mal you
couldn't ask for better value
mail-order merchandise
means monster savings
take my advice
invest in vice
it may be naughty but it's very nice
you don't have to spend a fortune
on our new instalment plan
even the poorest can afford
some discount torture & debauchery
yes you can pay for present pleasure
entirely on the never-never
come & see the Nether Regions
visit Hades on H.P.
for an out-of-this-world holiday
we promise an experience
you're not likely to forget
so go ahead & get in debt
we'll take your soul in part-exchange
we deliver to your door
& even give free demon-strations
the Witch guide to Warlocks
endorses these products
every article is bona fide
guaranteed to cause offense
to his Satanic Majesty
& Diabolic Eminence
the Prince of Darkness
there's no excuse now not to revel
just for the hell of it
be a devil
™
