tired of the same old holy holies

what you need is some excitement

if your life seems dull & boring

we've plenty that could pep it up


write away without delay

we will send you free-of-charge

an endless catalogue of horrors


we stock all you've never wanted

every kind of occult commodity

atrocities of every sort


you thought disease & war

were bad enough

well you ain't seen nothing yet


the seven Deadly Sins were pretty awful

our expanded range is far more full

we sell immoralities you've never heard of


our goods are X-certificate

& indexed A-Z

for easy reference


B's for Bestiality

Bargain Bugbears

Blasphemy & god-knows-what besides

including BOOZE

(the Primrose Path is such a laugh

& all our spirits duty-free)


but where was I

let me see



C you'll have to see to disbelieve

there's....(wait for it)

Catastrophes Calamities Cruelty & Carnage

Carnal Conjurations Covens Curses

Cut-price Cleavers for your kitchen

every shade of masochist & sadist catered for




I'll skip the rest but as you see

the list could well go to your head

by the time you get to XYZ

we know you'll end up satisfied

when you begin to browse inside


our games make ideal Xmas gifts

keep the kiddies occupied

with Dr Frankenstein's D.I.Y.

Young Scientist's Vivisection Kit

complete with full instructions

& practical suggestions

like how to kill the family cat

or disembowel an owl

it's hoots of laughter


why not shock your nearest & dearest

each box of Pandora Playthings

contains a set of beautiful electrodes

& comes with simple-to-follow wiring diagram

suitable for any age group

every home should have some Homicide


there's nothing like a bit of violence

if you want to break the silence

listen to them scream & scream


it makes sense to get enjoyment

at your enemy's expense


suffering is the in-thing

outrages against Nature

nowadays are all the rage

toil & trouble is so trendy

you too can be up-to-date

switch to super-cool HATE

& for a bigger better fright

to turn the blackest hair quite white

try some special gift-wrapped EVIL


there's fun to be had by being bad

we've tricks & treats to make flesh creep

& all of them so very cheap


our nightmares break the soundest sleep

wake up to some blood & thunderspook.gif (22270 bytes)

ghouls & ghosties are the mostest

long-legged beasties can make perfect pets

add some drama to your sex-life

with things that jump you in the night

for a good time get a succuba

our randy vampires love to love-bite


can you resist such tempting offers

our prices aren't extortionate

you can still stay penny-wise

& buy some ready-packaged lies

little & white or giant-size

they're truly economical

when it comes to fleurs du mal you

couldn't ask for better value

mail-order merchandise

means monster savings

take my advice

invest in vice

it may be naughty but it's very nice


you don't have to spend a fortune

on our new instalment plan

even the poorest can afford

some discount torture & debauchery


yes you can pay for present pleasure

entirely on the never-never


come & see the Nether Regions

visit Hades on H.P.

for an out-of-this-world holiday

we promise an experience

you're not likely to forget


so go ahead & get in debt

we'll take your soul in part-exchange


we deliver to your door

& even give free demon-strations


the Witch guide to Warlocks

endorses these products


every article is bona fide

guaranteed to cause offense


By Appointment

to his Satanic Majesty

& Diabolic Eminence

the Prince of Darkness


there's no excuse now not to revel

just for the hell of it

be a devil




devil_pointing_right_md_clr.gif (12119 bytes)bigKBLdk.png (16851 bytes)


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